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Don't Use Me

by Colporteur

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lyrics

A drying brush with its bristles left coated with paint scratching canvas, benefit from my pain. Your attention is a knife ran down the seams of my dress. When you listen, press me to your ear, do you hear what you want in my dial tone? A faulty flashlight. When it dims, hit it and try, try again. Left alone, my head pressed hard against the bathroom tile, I can hear you, actually hear you, sloshing around in my gut. I just want to throw up. Dragging a bike through the dirt, bent frame, flat tires, say it’s fine. Don’t use me. Take somebody else. I’ve built a pyre inside myself, but it’s too damp, windows left open through the night. I’ve tried the matches, tried to match your flame, but with violence, it’s practice makes perfect. Empty my breath from its bad prison. A needle too dull to pass through the fabric. Stab away anyway. Digging a hole with your hands, breaking your nails, bleeding knuckles. Don’t use me. Love somebody else, your love makes me hate myself. Don’t use me. Find somebody else as I find the nerve to do this myself.

credits

released December 17, 2018

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Colporteur Huntington Beach, California

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