Tasting Reasons

from Body Of Apology by Colporteur

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lyrics

Tasting the coffee creamer, French vanilla, I’m pretty sure we’re still alive. Dry like a raisin’s skin, I started to wonder if I’d ever be introduced to something sweet again. Upstairs, your eyelids didn’t open for hours. I spent that time pounding Morse code on your teeth. Please wake up.

I got so nervous that I started to philosophize. You hate it when I try to seem deep, but I couldn’t help it. I was scared and convinced that this was the end. I started to think, it’s in that moment—that first long drink from a bottle filled at the kitchen sink or cupped hands at a stream after a long time of trying to find nourishment somewhere—that I’m aware of being closest to heaven. I’m pretty sure it’s all we got.

So when I’m desperate for a little attention, I’ve made a habit of wagging quite a lot. Let’s hear you say don’t need at least one call home, and I’ll call you a liar.
I’m near enough to catch the traces of thoughts that trickle sometimes down to me, and I’ve recognized long ago you rarely mean what you have me push past your teeth. Please try hard to make this work.

Let’s drink a toast to toast. Let’s taste exactly when the sun came up today, and let’s find the reasons in the warmth of coffee pots, in all those steaming mugs, in packets torn apart, the sugar poured in cups. Let’s find the reasons to not want to try to die again.

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from Body Of Apology, released January 15, 2014

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Colporteur Huntington Beach, California

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